It is true that giving love to people without being selfish is the kindest gesture on earth. But, do you know how much will you end up investing in that love? Do you know if whether you have enough love to suffice for yourself? So, you must be wondering what kind of love is she talking about. Well, I’m talking about the one that you give out blindly to someone, in order to love someone and to make them feel good. And there’s nothing wrong in that. But, in that process are you the one getting hurt? Are you the one who always ends up crying in the middle of the night thinking about that person. No matter whoever it is, your parents, your siblings, your boyfriend, your girlfriend or your spouse. Do you find yourself in situations when you get pushed away by that person by being too caring?
Then you are definitely someone who needs to love themselves first. I recently realized that I was giving away the love that and care that I needed to show myself to someone who didn’t even value it or maybe did not need it. Maybe that person already put themselves first and did not need my love or help. Basically, that person was fine being alone, is that what I just realized today. And I came across a quote by Word Porn which said, “I should have loved myself with the love I gave to you”. Then it hit my head and it hit it hard, that I am just trying to fill in someone else’s cup while mine is totally empty. And maybe the love and affection I need from someone, I am pouring it out on that person. Which is what lead me to nights of weeping and going through immense pain, with the constant feeling of being hurt in my everyday life.
Now, I haven’t come up with a solution for it. But, today I decided to put myself first before actually putting another person before me. Giving myself the advice that sometimes I expect out of people and lastly loving myself the way I love others. That doesn’t mean I self-indulge and become too much of ‘me’. But, for a person who always struggles to first get approval from almost anyone. I think this is a good start. Don’t you think?